Archive for the ‘the-wonderful-melissa’ Category

Creative Writing

09/18/2009 Leave a comment


I am a writer.

I am sure that whoever reads this knows this.

I have file cabs filled with cra….I mean, uh, creative output.

Most of it will never see the light of day.

I am truly focusing on 3 projects.  When I get stuck on one I will hop over to the other one.

This is how I hope to overcome my inability to finish a novel.  I have PLENTY of short stories.

Let’s put some names to these stories/novels/screenplays so I can reference them for future ranting.

1. ER


3. DS

I am currently pretty into ER.

I of course choose a moment that I really want to write to start messing about with my OS.

Who wouldn’t?


For those who don’t know I am a Mac guy.  I loathe Beelzajobbba:


He is a douche.

I could rant for HOURS about what a douche he is.

I digress.

I also love:


I have used them both.

I have been using the mac since like 84/89 I don’t know…a LONG time.

The Mac Plus was the first computer I bought new in 89.

I have been using linux since…hmmm…95?

I used it exclusively at work for a long time.

My new post requires Visio and Project and there are NO good replacements/read/write for those docs in linux ANYWHERE.  I capitulated and use Windows…with a LOT of cygwin for my job.


And putty:


Wow…I digress again.

Well sort of.

The point is that I was interested in being all linuxy for awhile.  There are things in ubuntu linux i truly prefer over the mac and vice-versa.  I grab the ol compaq (the first computer I ever owned that booted into linux FIRST.  I bought it, plugged it in and stuck a linux disk in and installed on it straight away) and stick ub on it.  Long tiresome process that as my fault.

I spent the next couple days after work looking for good writing tools.

Please don’t suggest EMACS….I am staunch Cult of Vi member.

I also do not want to use OOW.

On my mac (Casper VonWhitenstein) I use:


The Scriv.  Scrivener.  El Scrivaducci.

I love this software.  I think…

I know that it is the best out there for getting it done for me.

It has the old fashioned:


Cork-board view for story movement.  Seeing as behind me RIGHT NOW….there is a cork-board for this purpose should tell you how this is for me.  It also has:


Full screen baby.  I love that…  No distractions.  I, of course, being a dude, am visual.

FullScreenEvolvedI put pictures to one side and let that help the contemplation.  NM the crap to the left.  I don’t do that.  Just the pic, the text, and music.  If the dev team put an iTunes controller in there I think I would even REBUY my software.

I use playlists for each story.

I also use:


For the screenplay work.  Nothing comes close for screenplay work as Final Draft.

That being said they are a bunch of monkeyf*ck @sshole douches when it comes to pricing and…


I used to use :


Z write.  This guy has NOT updated even his webpage in forever.  I guess we can assume he is over.

In a prose writer.  You, if you are me, want a good NON LINEAR editor.  Scriv and Z both had this.  The doc contains the ability to make chapters and you just dump what you are working and move to random chapters as you will and write.  Scriv even one ups that with Full Screen and the corkboard.  It out puts to “ready to send” rtfs and what not.


What does ubuntu have?

Nothing that I could find through googling.




Came close.  You don’t have “chapter” insert.  But you can KIND of work around it.  Kate has spell check.  Big bonuses.



Has the fullscreen thing going for it.  What kind of word processor does NOT have spell check.

Lame.  It is a rip on Jer’s WriteRoom:

writeroom-main-screenIt DOES have spell check but is mac only.

I tried more than I could safely say.

I tried windows versioning of Final Draft.  Activation codes just kept failing.  Back in the Final Draft 4 days  I could wine that baby and have no worries.  I even used Final Draft to write my prose back in those days.

I know people are going to suggest :


Yes I tried it.  It has come a long way.  I googled and googled and could not find a way to export as an RTF.


So I would have to copy/paste and then reformat 120-125 pages for a screenplay?  NM if I was doing a novel.


Long story short (too late I know) I went back to Casper and he happily is my writing tool.

Apps make the box….oh….yeah…


Please do NOT write in suggesting the Writer’s Cafe product.  That thing is a hopeless mess of shit.  The storyboard was interesting for about 5 minutes.  It has some good Ideas….it is just executed by retarded monkeys.  The process of writing is hard enough.  To work with something that seems to actively make me want to punch myself for using it?

No thanks.

I welcome any/all ideas people have.


Wasp / Behind The Wall Of Sleep / Bassically / N.I.B. by Black Sabbath



09/17/2009 1 comment

Here is what happens when you correct your wife’s grammar:

(07:35:42) Melissa: it’s up to you, your the one who has to watch nathan
(07:36:05) Os Ignis: you’re
(07:36:24) Melissa: shut up
(07:36:31) Melissa: i haven’t even had a cup of coffee yet
(07:36:44) Melissa: i don’t need my grammer corrected
(07:37:10) Os Ignis: you could probably do Calculus now so YOU shut up
(07:38:25) Melissa: uuummm sure, obviously you haven’t had enough coffee to come up with a good comeback


All Alone by Mad Season

As I go digging about part deux the redux

09/12/2009 Leave a comment

From back in 2005:

So in the FIRELY QUIZ:
I scored as Simon.
My loving wife had this to say:


(13:08:29) Os Ignis: yes
(13:08:35) Os Ignis: i was simon
(13:09:14) Melissa: well i had to have a tie-breaker
(13:09:19) Melissa: but i ended up being Kaylee
(13:09:43) Melissa: you don’t fit as simon
(13:10:46) Os Ignis: yeah I do
(13:10:51) Os Ignis: either him or Mal
(13:11:06) Melissa: yeah right…he is too pansy…
(13:11:12) Melissa: you are more like Mal
(13:36:31) Os Ignis: simon makes sense
(13:36:37) Os Ignis: Kaylee is always hot for him
(13:36:39) Os Ignis: 😀
(13:36:53) Melissa: that is the only way it makes sense
(13:37:10) Melissa: he is polite…reserved….tries to be politically correct
(13:37:24) Os Ignis: right
(13:37:27) Os Ignis: I am like that
(13:37:36) Melissa: yeah whatever
(13:37:45) Melissa: maybe when you’re sleeping


Golden Dawn by Ministry


09/11/2009 Leave a comment

Found this from 2005.


I just wanted to tag this here to say.
My wife is just the coolest woman.
When the place I was working would not allow computers in the office I handwrote my stories. I discovered that I work better in that organic flow anyhow. It worked.
I would bring home page after page of chickenscratch. Some people think I should have been a doctor my handwriting is so bad.
It isn’t just that either. My handwriting changes DRAMATICALLY dependent on mood or thoughts. It is a messy blur of curves, cursive, long lines, small bumps, upper and lower case, and horizontal lines.
My wonderful wife would take this and turn it into text.
It isn’t just that.
She gave birth to my two boys.
She smells great.
She has a smile that lights up the world.
She can cook.
She is great at math.
She can drive long distances.
She looks great in a bathing suit.
She has stunning eyes.
She is a wonderful mom.
She gets along with my most important friends….less one.
She likes to spend time with me.
She tells the truth.
She has a wit to match mine.

We will stop here to list her worst qualities.

She is grumpy when she is tired.
She beats me too much at cribbage.

Give me a minute…
I am sure I could come up with some more…


She reads Mary Higgins Clark….

I could go on for days listing things I adore about my wife…
Let’s just get to the point:

Her best quality in my book?

She said yes.



Phaedra by Tangerine Dream